What Steven Cousley Does

The ability to cope with extreme stress effectively will depend on the persons access to positive resources, innate abilities and awareness. Along with their individual nature, each person has their own strengths and personal challenges. Two people experiencing the same situation can have totally different reactions. Each individual must be thought of as a unique situation because one approach to recovering and coping with stress might not work with everyone. It is helpful to know some of the general concerns, considerations and approaches that can be used.

Extreme stress can arise from many situations, it doesn’t just happen during catastrophic or acutely traumatic events.

Extreme stress for family members could be the result of a home environment that is highly stressful. Remembering that people always have a choice on their behavior is one way to help yourself if your parent is the cause of your stress. Using honest and open communication is one the positive approaches to handling this situation. You could try to sit down with your parents and let them know how their behavior makes you feel. If you felt comfortable doing so, you could even suggest some form of counseling.

What is known about extremely stressful events and the ability to cope with them will vary among people and the nature of the event. The time it takes for a reasonable recovery will depend on the kind of trauma as well as the nature of any kind of loss that might have happened. A person’s experience with enduring stress will also play an important role, here, as well. Learning to cope and recover should take less time for a person who has been in highly stressful situations before and was able to handle them well. Because of this, the person will already know ways to cope with the high or extreme stress.

One serious situation that will require professional intervention is the involvement of a child in an extreme stress or trauma incident. Obviously a child is not capable of understanding what is happening within, and there is only the manifestation of the symptoms. There are a variety of symptoms that a child might exhibit in this kind of situation, such as aggressiveness, extreme withdrawal or physical symptoms of stress reactions. The child may need their parents involvement in helping to overcome the stress, depending on the individual situation.

The ways in which to deal with extreme stress in children, teens and adults can be very different. Professional treatment may be the best route for any of the three categories and especially for young children. Additionally, adults and teens might need to seek ongoing support for some time depending on what kind of trauma they suffered. A personal support system made up of family and good friends can be extremely beneficial helping in recovery no matter what kind of case.

by Cody Degenhart

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Defining Assertive

What does it mean to be assertive? By definition the word assertive means to affirm with confidence and assurance one’s position in defense or in order to move oneself forward boldly. This definition as listed in the dictionary explains a form of assertiveness that leans more towards aggressive, which does not accurately describe the meaning of what I want to explain as a true assertive response style. So, then, what is true or “pure” assertiveness and how can one develop it is the question. Now, for the answers…

The Four Styles

There are four styles of attitudes that result in how we communicate with other people. These are Aggressive, Passive, Passive-Aggressive, and Assertive. All four of these mind-sets are developed by the way in which we view or accept our own feelings in combination with how we view or accept other people’s feelings and behaviors towards us. In other words, how we deal with anger. A way to identify your own response style or the way in which others respond is by using one of these four simple formulas:

Aggressive = “I accept that I am angry,” but “I do not accept that you did something to anger me.”

Passive = “I do not accept that I am angry,” but “I accept that you did something to anger me.”

Passive-Aggressive = “I do not accept that I am angry,” and “I do not accept that you did something to anger me.”

Assertive = “I accept that I am angry,” and “I accept that you did something to anger me.”

The Assertive Type

The assertive response style as listed in the above description claims a dual-acceptance of self and others. This is the critical point of “pure” assertiveness. True assertive people accept or acknowledge anger within them, and all of the underlying hurt and/or fear that takes place along with it. In addition, an assertive person will honor another human being as having significance as well at the point of conflict, and will affirm their own position of defense not with hostility or disrespect, but with direction, care, and understanding of boundaries. This means that a person can in fact state their position without injuring or disrespecting others. Please note, the purpose of assertiveness is not to be a doormat, nor is it to be used to overpower another.

Primary Purpose

The primary purpose of being assertive is to state one’s needs with honor and validation of another human being’s needs without assimilation or rejection. In other words, sometimes we must “agree to disagree” and can remain honorable in the process without bullying or being bullied.

Examples

A colleague is given extra work that was, in effect, dumped on her by another colleague’s lack of responsibility in addressing this work. In response to this action, she addresses the colleague by informing her that she does not have time to add this work into her own workload, and then gives her the opportunity to engage in questions to gain helpful information. If this is not effective in getting her point across, she then informs their supervisor that she is being treated in an unfair manner without guilt or irrational fear.

A student is having difficulty understanding the material being taught to him in class due to another student’s disruptive behavior. He addresses the professor after class to ask for help in obtaining the information better through further explanation without any attempt at manipulation, while also stating his ground as being allowed to address the class as a whole without fear of intimidation or retribution.

Assertiveness Breeds Confidence

By and large, assertiveness is a developed process in which a person either becomes more vocal in responding to anger and/or less aggressive in getting their point across. An assertive person is open to solution-based suggestions and negotiations, and will validate another person without ever feeling “beaten,” and thus, has a high level of self-esteem and good communication skills in interpersonal relationships.

by Noel Neu

Noel Neu is a counselor in Wellington, where he specializes in providing assertive skills training.

What is Zumba Fitness?

You may already be wondering what Zumba exercise is truly all about by now. It is a fusion of both dance and an exercise workout, featuring a variety of dance styles. Although the main rhythm is Latin, other international influences are also present in the mix. Knowing the basic principles will help you become better at it and burn the extra calories and fat.

Starting the Zumba workout

Zumba training lasts for about an hour and presents different dance moves coming from regions in Latin America. Some of the included moves are influenced by the meringue, salsa, reggaeton and even belly dance and hip hop. It provides an excellent cardiovascular workout, where you can burn as much as 450 calories an hour.  Zumba workouts can be quite challenging, so it is important that you begin each session by doing a few stretches and toning exercises. These should last for 15 minutes, aim to warm up all the major muscle groups during the pre-exercise.

The Choreography

Start choreographing the Zumba workout by doing samba moves for about 5 minutes. You can use the basic forward and back movements, keeping your heart rate up. After that, switch to merengue dance movements for another 5 minutes. The merengue is composed of 3 basic motions, namely the forward basic motions, the side basic motions and the back basic motions. These can be mixed in any way using variations in the posture as you dance.

After 5 minutes, move on to dancing the salsa for 5 minutes. Begin by tapping on the first beat, then step forward using the same foot. Back on the same foot then dance to variations of the motion. You may include reggae, hiphop, reggaeton and a number of belly dance movements during the workout. Mix the movements using the Latin dance moves. You will realize that the fusion of different dances and rhythms make Zumba exercises truly unique.

Using Interval Zumba Training

One of the principles behind the Zumba workout is that you incorporate interval training. This means that you move from one dance to the next in increments, such as dancing the salsa for 5 minutes, hiphop for 5 minutes, merengue for 5 minutes, and so on. Your heart rate and breathing differs, depending on the movements and demands of the dances. This allows your metabolism to enhance, thereby burning calories while doing the exercise and continuously while at rest.

Although the pace may be too challenging for first time exercisers and older adults, the Zumba Gold is also available, which reduces the beat and pace. Seniors and true beginners get to experience a comfortable and entertaining start. They will be introduced to the steps until they are ready to go with Zumba Basic and Level 2.

Professional Help

If you want to learn the Zumba well, you should join a number of workshops and activities together with certified Zumba exercise instructors. There are now more than 2,000 instructors all around the world, complete with the right skills, knowledge and materials to let you enjoy the activity fully. You can get more tips in forums and the web site. Make sure you wear comfortable clothes and eat the right type of diet to experience the different fitness benefits of the program. Mastering the Zumba takes time. You can also pratice Zumba at home with the Zumba Fitness DVD series. Try to squeeze in 2 to 3 sessions per week to get better over time.

Is Zumba Effective?

Millions have already tried Zumba exercises because of the various benefits and uniqueness. However, there are also a number of sceptics questioning the true efficacy of the program and whether or not it truly guarantees results. Learning about the principles and understanding the fitness regimen will help you determine if it is the right one for you. Here are the tips.

Features of the Zumba Fitness Program

When trying the Zumba training, expect to do a variety of dances such as the salsa, mambo, cha cha, merengue, calypso and other modern forms like belly dance and hip hop. The Zumba Fitness DVD series features a core workout that emphasizes on interval and resistance training. The most popular characteristic of Zumba is the dance moves, since exercisers will be constantly going from one type of dance to the next. The music provides a very unique and exhilarating experience for everyone.

Zumba is approved by the AFAA or Aerobic and Fitness Association of America, the Canadian Personal Trainer Association and the American Council on Exercise. It has over 3 million followers who claim to have lost anywhere from an inch off their waist to hundreds of pounds of fat. The workout generally lasts 1 hour, although there are also variations lasting anywhere between 30 and 45 minutes.

The Benefits of Zumba Exercise

Zumba workouts are considered very effective by fitness trainers since they uses the very same useful principles. It does not boast of new fads, but uses factual and scientifically based approaches. It is a known fact that interval training is highly effective in boosting metabolism. As the individual goes through both fast and slow paced movements, the heart pumps blood more, thereby improving both physical condition and the function of the heart. Changing the pace every now and then nonstop will help you rev up your metabolism. As a result, your body continues to burn fat even when you’re at rest.

Losing the Weight with the Zumba Fitness DVD series

Zumba training can help you burn as much as 450 calories for a 1-hour session or more, depending on the intensity. It is an ideal program for individuals who easily get tired of going to aerobics classes or the gym. Since the routine features more dance moves and upbeat music, you stay entertained and continually shed off the fat without getting bored. The unique approach encourages consistency and discipline to stick to the program. Zumba also helps you meet other individuals battling with their current weight, so you can find an ideal fitness partner.

Zumba exercises will work wonders for your weight if you add a clean low fat diet to your regimen. Make sure you hydrate well by drinking 8 to 10 glasses of water each day. Your performance in the exercises will enhance significantly by following a sound diet plan. In a matter of 2 to 4 weeks, you should see some positive results.

More Effects

Zumba training provides people with mental, physical and social advantages. You get to meet new friends by joining classes. Exercising leads to improved self-esteem and confidence so you feel better about yourself. Zumba is a great stress reliever. Ideally, you should go to class 2 to 3 times a week or more, depending on your schedule. The different dance movements also help you improve flexibility, balance, strength and coordination. Even those who live very sedentary lifestyles or are confined in a wheelchair can finally burn more calories with the fun Zumba workouts.

What’s Your Creative Habit?
Want to write a memoir or novel but can’t seem to get
started? Want to create a memorable painting or performance
but you’re too busy to work on it? It can be frustrating
when your creative fire just never seems to get lit.

Fire Up with Creative Habits

To ignite a daily fire in the fireplace requires that you
bring in the wood and place it in the hearth, then strike a
match to set it ablaze. In the same way, to ignite your
creative fire you must have certain habits and rituals that
will fire up your enthusiasm and energy, allowing you to
plunge into the joys and mess of creating an artistic work.

In her book The Creative Habit, the famed choreographer
Twyla Tharp says emphatically that creativity has much less
to do with talent or genius than with hard work. Tharp, who
is in her late sixties, illustrates by saying she gets up
every day at 5:30 a.m. and heads to the gym for a two-hour
workout with her trainer. She says that, because of this
kind of dedicated habit associated with her creative work,
she is able to feel confident when she has just five weeks
to create a new dance for a major performance venue. She
has prepared her body and her mind well, beginning with a
daily ritual.

It’s the ritual of calling the cab that actually gets her
in motion, she says. The well-established routine of making
the call gets her past the resistance that might arise
about being too tired or otherwise reluctant to put herself
through the hard routine at the gym.

Set Up Habits and Rituals That Inspire You

So, what are the daily or frequent habits and rituals that
activate your creative productivity? Here are five examples
of habits you can borrow from successful artists, along
with rituals to set the stage for each habit:

Habit #1: Be observant and make a record of what you
observe.

Ritual: Carry a notebook and pen or pencil with you
everywhere you go to do a quick sketch, jot observations,
or make a note of dialogue you overhear.

Habit #2: Study the work of artists you admire.

Ritual: Keep a set of books by your reading table or
bedside and spend 15 minutes or more reading before going
to bed. Or check out the arts calendar each Sunday and
select a show to attend.

Habit #3: Practice, practice, practice what you want to get
better at.

Ritual: Set a specific time to practice each day or on
certain days. If you begin with a specific activity such as
sitting in a certain place or turning on a certain light,
you set up the habit to take on a life of its own.

Habit #4: Take time for solitude to give your muse a chance
to play and have its say.

Ritual: Have a pen by your bedside and pick it up as soon
as you wake, using it to record your creative ideas before
you engage with other people (even before your coffee).
Your muse will soon get in the habit of showing up for the
appointed time. Or plan a weekend a month when you retreat
to your bedroom or a quiet getaway place, and always start
the weekend with a set activity such as lighting a candle.

Habit #5: Celebrate your successes. You may need
encouraging memories to offset the many disappointing times
you may experience.

Ritual: Create a screensaver of an art piece of yours that
you’re happy with, or display a testimonial quote from an
admirer.

Being creative is most satisfying when it moves from an
idea in the mind into the actual creation of an artistic
work. That happens more easily and more often if you have
habits and rituals that light your creative fire. When
starting or renewing a creative habit, build in a ritual to
start you off each time you do the activity. Be sure to do
the ritual every day for at least 30 days to make it stick.
That ritual, faithfully practiced, will become like a book
of matches you can count on set off that creative spark.

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Learn about free teleseminars by Pat Samples on inspired
living, body wisdom, and creative aging at
http://www.patsamples.com . Her new book, The Secret Wisdom
of a Woman’s Body: Freeing Yourself To Live Passionately
and Age Fearlessly, has been called by AARP’s magazine
“what our generation wants to read.”