Managers may be much maligned in a lot of TV shows and movies, but in real life, they are really quite important to the proper functioning of a group, and are responsible for the tasks and the success of a group. Through the manager, people know what they’re supposed to be doing and what the goals for the group are. The manager’s methods and attitude also set the tone for the entire department, determining how they go about tackling their duties and what kind of work environment is in place.

If you are a manager or are aspiring to be one, you need to remember that so much depends on you. Learning how to become a better manager should be at the top of your list of priorities, and you can be sure that being a good manager doesn’t mean ruling people with an iron fist. It entails toeing the line between being a figure of authority (a concept which often sounds forbidding) and being someone to who your employees will turn to for guidance, advice, and direction.

To start with, you can meet with your group and find out what they expect from you and the rest of the group. People normally don’t often answer this readily and honestly, so ask them questions like, “How much guidance and supervision do you need from me?” “Where do you see this group going, and how do you suggest we can all work better together?” “What do you expect a manager of this group to do?” “What are issues that this group has been facing?”

In the same way, you should also express your expectations from everyone else. For example, say that you don’t expect everyone to check in all the time regarding projects, but keeping you updated in case of delays is a must. It’s a good idea to hash out issues and solutions before moving forward so that when you do move forward, you all have a clear understanding of one another.

Remember that you also have basic tasks you should be attending to as a manager. You are expected to define the goals, map out a strategy, monitor people’s progress, and be ready to provide feedback and provide assistance when needed. To become a better manager, you need to be organized. As every project comes in, determine the goals, the tasks needed to be done to achieve these goals, and identify the skills and knowledge that must be utilized. You are expected to do more than just toss out assignments to people; you are the one who should let them know what that project is for and what it should achieve, and then really pull the group together to work on it.

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The ability to cope with extreme stress effectively will depend on the persons access to positive resources, innate abilities and awareness. Along with their individual nature, each person has their own strengths and personal challenges. Two people experiencing the same situation can have totally different reactions. Each individual must be thought of as a unique situation because one approach to recovering and coping with stress might not work with everyone. It is helpful to know some of the general concerns, considerations and approaches that can be used.

Extreme stress can arise from many situations, it doesn’t just happen during catastrophic or acutely traumatic events.

Extreme stress for family members could be the result of a home environment that is highly stressful. Remembering that people always have a choice on their behavior is one way to help yourself if your parent is the cause of your stress. Using honest and open communication is one the positive approaches to handling this situation. You could try to sit down with your parents and let them know how their behavior makes you feel. If you felt comfortable doing so, you could even suggest some form of counseling.

What is known about extremely stressful events and the ability to cope with them will vary among people and the nature of the event. The time it takes for a reasonable recovery will depend on the kind of trauma as well as the nature of any kind of loss that might have happened. A person’s experience with enduring stress will also play an important role, here, as well. Learning to cope and recover should take less time for a person who has been in highly stressful situations before and was able to handle them well. Because of this, the person will already know ways to cope with the high or extreme stress.

One serious situation that will require professional intervention is the involvement of a child in an extreme stress or trauma incident. Obviously a child is not capable of understanding what is happening within, and there is only the manifestation of the symptoms. There are a variety of symptoms that a child might exhibit in this kind of situation, such as aggressiveness, extreme withdrawal or physical symptoms of stress reactions. The child may need their parents involvement in helping to overcome the stress, depending on the individual situation.

The ways in which to deal with extreme stress in children, teens and adults can be very different. Professional treatment may be the best route for any of the three categories and especially for young children. Additionally, adults and teens might need to seek ongoing support for some time depending on what kind of trauma they suffered. A personal support system made up of family and good friends can be extremely beneficial helping in recovery no matter what kind of case.

by Cody Degenhart

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Defining Assertive

What does it mean to be assertive? By definition the word assertive means to affirm with confidence and assurance one’s position in defense or in order to move oneself forward boldly. This definition as listed in the dictionary explains a form of assertiveness that leans more towards aggressive, which does not accurately describe the meaning of what I want to explain as a true assertive response style. So, then, what is true or “pure” assertiveness and how can one develop it is the question. Now, for the answers…

The Four Styles

There are four styles of attitudes that result in how we communicate with other people. These are Aggressive, Passive, Passive-Aggressive, and Assertive. All four of these mind-sets are developed by the way in which we view or accept our own feelings in combination with how we view or accept other people’s feelings and behaviors towards us. In other words, how we deal with anger. A way to identify your own response style or the way in which others respond is by using one of these four simple formulas:

Aggressive = “I accept that I am angry,” but “I do not accept that you did something to anger me.”

Passive = “I do not accept that I am angry,” but “I accept that you did something to anger me.”

Passive-Aggressive = “I do not accept that I am angry,” and “I do not accept that you did something to anger me.”

Assertive = “I accept that I am angry,” and “I accept that you did something to anger me.”

The Assertive Type

The assertive response style as listed in the above description claims a dual-acceptance of self and others. This is the critical point of “pure” assertiveness. True assertive people accept or acknowledge anger within them, and all of the underlying hurt and/or fear that takes place along with it. In addition, an assertive person will honor another human being as having significance as well at the point of conflict, and will affirm their own position of defense not with hostility or disrespect, but with direction, care, and understanding of boundaries. This means that a person can in fact state their position without injuring or disrespecting others. Please note, the purpose of assertiveness is not to be a doormat, nor is it to be used to overpower another.

Primary Purpose

The primary purpose of being assertive is to state one’s needs with honor and validation of another human being’s needs without assimilation or rejection. In other words, sometimes we must “agree to disagree” and can remain honorable in the process without bullying or being bullied.

Examples

A colleague is given extra work that was, in effect, dumped on her by another colleague’s lack of responsibility in addressing this work. In response to this action, she addresses the colleague by informing her that she does not have time to add this work into her own workload, and then gives her the opportunity to engage in questions to gain helpful information. If this is not effective in getting her point across, she then informs their supervisor that she is being treated in an unfair manner without guilt or irrational fear.

A student is having difficulty understanding the material being taught to him in class due to another student’s disruptive behavior. He addresses the professor after class to ask for help in obtaining the information better through further explanation without any attempt at manipulation, while also stating his ground as being allowed to address the class as a whole without fear of intimidation or retribution.

Assertiveness Breeds Confidence

By and large, assertiveness is a developed process in which a person either becomes more vocal in responding to anger and/or less aggressive in getting their point across. An assertive person is open to solution-based suggestions and negotiations, and will validate another person without ever feeling “beaten,” and thus, has a high level of self-esteem and good communication skills in interpersonal relationships.

by Noel Neu

Noel Neu is a counselor in Wellington, where he specializes in providing assertive skills training.

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Frequently, groups of people turn to organized religion when they see themselves questioning the world without any source for answers. It is both valid and entirely beneficial to the people who decide to become a part of a certain congregation. Yet, for those who are not drawn to organized religion the path to answers can be a daunting one without the proper resources to aid them along the way.

Developing a sense of personal spiritualism requires one to look within themselves, and at the world from different perspectives in order to begin to fabricate spirituality. This is a completely earthy goal; it just might demand some guidance along the way, and thankfully, there are numerous resources for spiritual counsel available.

In the digital age, the Internet is a great source for nearly anything a person could want to learn, and with this in mind, spiritual websites are a great starting point. These spiritually focused sites are gauged towards opening a person’s mind to separate forms of religion and spiritual belief, which one can then use to commence shaping their own spiritualism. Their articles, and methods are focused on numerous philosophical, religious, and spiritual mindsets, which are bound to change you in one way or another. In the long run, however, even material that you do not agree with will help to maneuver you towards concepts that better suit your developing spirituality.

In addition to spiritual websites, there is an assortment of spiritually focused literature that is a great means of engaging oneself in a spiritual debate, or process. Authors such as Dr. Richard Alpert and Hermann Hesse have written novels that are spiritual in nature, but do not belong specifically to organized ideals. Their experiences are a good base for how one can begin to acquire their own spirituality, and accordingly these are fabulous resources.

The literature is great for engaging yourself in a spiritual state, but often there comes a point when you feel stuck in your own head. If this is the case, the counsel of spiritual guides is a great alternative to get back on a path towards your own spiritualism. These guides can range from spiritual professionals, to family and friends; the point of meeting with them is the conversation that ensues. spiritual guides go into meeting with you looking for you to acquire your own opinions, and their job is to direct you to them, rather than force their ideals on you. It is a great way to work around the rut you experience yourself in, and this source can be the best choice for those who are having trouble finding answers.

Want to find out more about spiritualism, then visit Spirit and Word’s site on how to choose the best spiritual guide for your needs.

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Hair loss and receding hair lines are among the signs of aging that people fear the most. Men experience it more often but it does happen to both men and women. Unlike wrinkles and sagging skin nevertheless, excessive hair loss cannot be readily hidden by special creams and loose beauty serums.

There are a lot of causes why we suffer hair loss. Aside from aging, there are a good deal different reasons and factors that contribute upon the retreating hairline, and the thinning, and ultimate unreasonable hair loss. Among them are hormonal changes such as when a woman enters the menopausal stage, a skin illness, stress, vulnerability to certain chemicals and radiation therapy during medication, hair treatments or even mechanical means like pulling and braiding.

Is Hair Transplant Always The Solution?

Everyone experiences normal hair loss as a stage of the hair growth cycle, but if it comes excessively, something should be done. Regrettably, people who are not conscious nor capable of spending for the current hair loss treatments have no option but to live with it. There are various reasons so there must also be different treatment for each hair problem. First, a sufficient consumption of protein is suggested because it is necessary for hair production. There are also some prescription medicine treatments that are available at most drug stores. They work by rubbing the substance directly into the scalp or whichever part that needs regrowing. Lastly, if you feel you are not contented with the basic treatments, you can always study hair transplant surgeries.

Hair Transplant Is A Possible Action.

The main idea behind hair transplant is to plant new hair follicles to areas where there a thin covers of hair. Basically, they will grow as the natural hair would grow, unlike some treatments that only patch parts of the scalp. Hair transplant is considerably new technology but it sure does create an immediate effect. One thing more, the laser operations do not leave any trace of scars on your head.

Of course there are yet some precautions before undergoing a hair transplant surgery. Make certain you pick an experienced surgeon who really specializes in the discipline. Look out if the hair that is going to be used for you is in the appropriate amount and condition. You wouldn’t want your new hair starkly standing out against the old ones.

by Celine Nguyen

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